So I carry around with me a to-do list every day (well almost everyday). I find a list helps to keep me organized and keep track of what needs to get done or what hasn't gotten done throughout the day. On my list for the past couple of weeks has been to update my blog but of course life has gotten in the way. And I think I am finally ready to admit that my blog honestly has moved down on the priority list of things I get done.
Now is that a good thing or bad thing? Depends. For me, I am working hard to experience my children as they are still small. My daughter turned 3 and we celebrated with a little party with her friends a couple of days ago:
My son placed 3rd in his division for the team kata. It is amazing to see what 1 year of hard training has done for him. He is so much stronger now and can do a forward facing roll without hands. Karate has been good for Noah.
Along with that, Noah ran a one mile fun run with me this past weekend. He hasn't done one in over two years. Back then he didn't know how far a mile was and after about 100 yards he was begging me to pick him up and hold him. That didn't happen this year:
And here he is:
He has the fire now. He finished second out of the kids in the 1 mile. Even when he told me his tummy hurt and I asked him if he wanted to stop he said "No, mama, keep running ahead of me to pace me!"
After the 1 miler, I ran a 5k. It has been a while since I have truly trained for one. It must be the grace of getting older and having all the fast runners stop running but I came in first in my age group:
And then my baby girl is learning so much now. We have been working with her on math and concepts such as greater than and less than (here is a hint, they totally get it once you relate it to pac-man and the pac-man guys wanting to eat where there is more food)
Now work wise, we are busy preparing for so many wonderful things. I was looking at our YouTube videos the other and and was surprised to find this one had over 300,000 views:
And I filmed this one last week to show how easy our trims are to turn into beautiful flowers:
And always in the back of our minds, it is hard to believe that it has been over 7 months since we lost my dad to cancer. 7 months in a lifetime is hardly anything. The only way to explain it is that my dad had such a big personality and was so full of joy, that all that is left is a bit of emptiness.
Grief has a strange way of hitting you at different times. I don't process grief through many tears but just by a sense of what ifs and bits of emptiness in my life. My sister and I always seem to play in the back of our minds if there was more we could have done to help him prolong his life but you never win in the mind game of "what ifs". I was reading the latest Fitness Magazine and there was this article on Lung Cancer (which is what took my dad's life). I held my breath for a moment wondering if the article contained something new on the treatment front which could have helped him. I exhaled and I read the article and was actually blessed with a sense of peace.
Within the article, they had quoted one of the leading cancer doctors in the US. She was actually based in Dallas, TX. We had gotten my dad in for a second opinion for his treatment in the early stages of his diagnosis. Everything she mentioned in the article we tried for him. We also found out after we had taken him in that his main doctor had this other doctor as a mentor when she was training.
Alas the article put my mind at ease. And then a couple of days ago, I read this article on cancer treatments that showed the drugs they thought would becoming the breakthroughs for extending the battle and winning the war against cancer was really only giving about 6 months extra time. The drugs that were once thought to be able to buy 2-3 years alas cannot. My dad did get about an extra 6 months with us. That was enough time for him to see his last granddaughter be born and hold her and also spend time with my kids.
And so I breathe again. And life goes on. And we breathe in and out and enjoy all our moments together.
And I will be working on updating my blog more frequently. Life is now back to our new normal. And every day is a blessing from God.